Flames of Purification - Many Polarities

Two aspects, a never-ending cycle, cycles within cycles, aeons and aeons of time with Creator aspect in power, in majority, then, when the predestined limit of the exhalation of the universe, the consuming destrucction with the inhalation of the great dreamer, the creator of our universe known by many names: Shiva, Allah, Brahman, Vishnu, Yehowah, Azathoth; even the constant harmony of the universe has been prophesised to halt, everflowing as it is, and our dream existence shall be naught but memory.

 

 

What new dream shall our Creator place us in? Or shall we merely observe and influence, as mitochondria in a deity's body?

Perhaps the next universe shall again be created according to the image(s) and data the Grand Intelligence manifested, or perhaps a new, hitherto undreamt universe shall arise into existence, bringing with it previously unknown marvels and horrors that have yet to be dreamt into reality by our mind.

 

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I wrote these words after observing a ceremony. Billowing smoke plumed out of a building in front of me to the left as I walked. Peering into the building, various fires were lit on six inch stone...pagodas? While a main one, fuellled by leaves released most of the smoke.

Only men could be seen in the temple, and while my eyes stung from watching them, they fanned the smoke with a sash as they stood nearby, barefoot and robed. It occured to me, as I was no longer distracted by the sweat dripping off my face, that the ash and smoke would seal the pores somewhat from the humidity. I shall, as thousands of generations of people in India have done, and smear ash over my body, both for the above reason and as a reminder of keeping within one's body, whatever spirit still lingers in my depleting self, meditating on how to adjust the personal mistake of letting unwanted people and their suggestions into one side of one's being, and the seemingly unavoidable consequences of over-reliance on friends and family in the mind.

I let words affect both body and mind, before, and the physical and mental highs shall be countered with lows, as I understand it, once again in a cycle of a waveform, shouts and screams of agony and ecstasy, sobs and sighs, shocks and sleeps, strains and snugs, all experienced combinations of ingredients stored in Akashic Records to be reused, refined as chosen by one another's choosers with/against one.

As far as choosers have choice, everything emanating and absorbing? Introculating? In a cosmic, nay, universal breath of life...and death.

If Eliade, Nietzsche, et al. are correct, then the above current belief I have means that when we finitely (mote it be) relive this life again, there is potential for it to be both better and worse, to have different causes; to have many different effects to the current life's recieved ones. For if it were otherwise, be it good or evil, what possible things could an old soul learn as it revolves with the wheel, between states of the multpile polarities and associations formed like wires between nodes? If a life can not be perfected according to one's satisfaction, then what use are mistakes whose lessons are to be forgotten and repeated ceaselessly?

We must imagine Sisyphus as we imagine each other: Happy, sad, and in various other states. I speak from regret that I have not thought of my loved ones enough, that I have a great and terrible twilight ahead of me. My friends and family, toiled Sisyphus-like, more than I have, and I would wish them to be happier, while toiling and while not. Yet then the double edge of the blade of wishful prayer shows it's sharpness: If they become happier, it would seem that I am cursing them to be evetually brought sadder, or lower. It is tempting to conclude that through wishing my loved ones despair, trials, anguish, then they are granted eventual equal, if not greater awe and fascination, comfort and relaxation, and a joyful pleasure that would riva that which those who joined the Hashshashin 'endured'.

I believe everything that has happened to me is due to differing types of contributions from others, and I believe that this is true for everyone else as well. Even believing I and they are repaid in kind, I sit hesitant to perform the mental, physical and spiritual work to make that wish come true. I hasten to add, that I have not yet the courage to wish those negatives on my family and friends, certainly consciously, for if I am wrong the consequences would be untenable for continuation.

Worse still, I sit paralysed from uncertainty, yet while I am still on the path of learning, Lam and Lama both, I am worried my very words written down are those of dissolution, I will continue to try and do good for others, while my negativity should be limited to that which my ideal self would do, not that of peers, or the mob mentality.

I must put my physical form to more use, as of late my arms and back have ached while sat. Shooting, stabbing pains through my feet, and both my hands have been cramping,  like I have a case of the deadly boneitis. Looking for a manual project could be worthwhile.

Mentally I should be saying and doing what is Right, having been more of a Sinister persuasion then is good for others in the short term, and myself in the long term. Though it seems those I have wronged would be thanking me during my later suffering for such...mistakes.

Spiritually I will continue to learn and attain my perfect self - be it as it has struck me, how my dream dream-self is, compatibly with the true self Atman, simultaneously the no-self of all, the Anatman.

May 2023, Kochi, Kerala, India

Edit: Perhaps an end to toil for all would be a safer wish to bring for All of us.