Midnight Musings - Originally written 11/02/2009

As the moonlight filters through the hazy smoke,
Epiphany takes hold of me.

Raising, drifting, shadows awake from their slumber, taking away mine.
I follow them as they indicate to me potential futures. A glimpse into what may happen, based solely on my decision in the next few minutes(days?).

Here - a raspy last breath sat in front of a pine cabin, looking down at my life partner's wrinkled hands and seeing so many memories. The hazy sun shines bright off the lake, and I close my eyes for the last time.

There - Sensing danger, I drop the money and turn on my heels. I hear a deafening noise, and
suddenly the world is at an impossible angle. I look down at myself, seeing, not feeling the
gunshots enter my body. I feel an unlikely sense of peace, and forgive my killers. I see them take
a mobile phone out of my blood-stained pocket and take a photo of me, then send it to my employer.

I knew the job was risky, but the drugs needed to be taken, and that meant unsavoury work. I
suppose at that point I already knew I was terminal, but needed to take the edge away from the
world. I am briefly aware of a human chuckle before the world fades to black again.

Startled back to the present, I see the wispy figures beckon me further, along to a purple and
green ethereal plane. A cacophony of noise erupts around me and I see my memories, shaped like teardrops fly up around me.

Nostalgia turns to anger, to shame, to wasted potential. I see myself turn my back on good things, wallow in hatred, directed at everything. I snap away from the torment and see a pair of golden scales materialise, and the teardrop memories flowing towards them.

They begin to flock to one side, and all my evil past weighs down the scales. The green floor starts to dissolve, and I see below me the dim red fields of Hell. Sinking through the floor, I panic and start to scramble up, not daring to look down at the abominations that lie in wait for me to join them in eternal torment. I start to scream, try to convince this spiritual jury that my life has
not been in vain, with all the evil there is good too, a donation to charity here, a returned
wallet there.

I see more memories flock past me. These are circular, perfect, with a warm white glow
blushing from them. They move towards the other end of the scales, and the green mist starts to
return, and I see myself rise away from the citadels of the damned below. All too soon, the flight
of seraphim slows to a trickle, and I see that the teardrops still far outweigh my few good
moments.

The shadows move back into view, and drag me away from the abnormal jury room, and back
into the welcoming pitch blackness. I feel a overwhelming sense of tension, and suddenly a white
light breaks out into my gaze, along with a sharp pain.

My legs suddenly cramped, I realise I am staring intently at the moon, and my cigarette has burnt it's way down to my fingers. I throw it away, look at the computer screen, and type.