11:00, 1st June 2013,
Granada
fuck this
Allow me to rephrase, at 14:57. I no
longer feel like writing about the menial, the day to day.
I set off last night searching for the
people eking out an existence in the Sierra Navada mountains, around
the area of Sacromonte.
Managing only to find fellow
travellers close to the mountains, after managing to upset people
having a birthday party, trying unsuccessfully to communicate above
things like “where u from” “what u do” “how long here”, I
stormed off after being told “no trouble please” which of course
I cannot refuse, so I shouldered my pack in the most painful way I
could imagine as I walked, feeling that I somehow must deserve the
pain that I somehow caused to them.
Steadfastly walking, first down to a
valley where I pondered and listened to the voices, before climbing
again until I arrived at where I was told to sleep, at a narrow
footpath with a sheer drop to the river below.
In an unusual coincidence, a child
holding a blue balloon just walked in. Feliz compleanos!
Five seconds later they walk out.
Before sleeping I stared at the stars,
musing upon their significance, until I pictured the reverse, how the
others must see us while we sleep – the sky pure white with dots of
black seemingly at random.
I say slept, but many of the rocks
beneath me on the path hurt my back, and even when I removed the ones
I could, I still barely managed to rest my mind. Once I woke, I
retraced my steps back to the village that was closed to me the night
before, and then caught a bus, which only took me half a kilometre
before turning round. Feeling cheated, I walked along until I came to
a café at the foot of the Alhambra, and wrote in my notebook:
What is the NEED for
Shelter?
Above
all, protection from the ravages of the elements, yes? So while we
seek this protection or sanctuary that all are entitled to (the
NEED), what should be within the building?
Would a
collection of branches, woven together tightly enough to withstand
the wind and rain suffice? Partly.
For this
Shelter could not provide warmth, nor withstand Fire, and no matter
how strong the branches, they would eventually collapse given enough
pressure from the Earth. (Looking back, the same is said for the wind
and rain, Air and Water.)
So
we evolved past cutting down trees for our Need of shelter (and
warmth, another Need, that cannot be quenched by shelter alone), and
we can clearly see the varying types of Shelter we have in the
present. Let us look into the future together, to see how we would
choose our shelters to evolve.
Imagine
a shield of electricity around your house, harmlessly rebounding
anything (or disintegrating the same, if you prefer?)
If
the shield keeps everything, and therefore everyONE out, we are left
with a feeling of total isolation. It seems the IDEAL, the archetypal
Shelter, is one that can provide isolation as and when we require.
Yet the electricity that protects us, is the same that imprisons us.
Imagine
your electric shield (and shelter) holds within it a four poster bed
if you wish. A hidden compartment which dispenses every feeling of
food and drink imaginable, so that you may dine on the finest
delicacies at any time. Do you still not see the bars that isolate
you?
While
in your shelter, no matter how luxurious it may seem to those
standing next to the electric bubble and peering inside, the person
within would still be in intense suffering.
Do
we equate isolation equal to loneliness then?
Even
if we managed to devise a system of communication that can pass
through the shield, removing any translation errors, the isolation
would still be present, albeit in a slightly different form.
So
it is, that even if you are stood surrounded by happy, like-minded
people, the iso-loneliness would still be present, for when we
touch, we communicate in a unique and unparalleled form of
communication.
Now,
perhaps, do we see the the TRUE next set of bars within society.
“Look,
but do not touch”; “Please do not walk (barefoot) on the grass”;
“Please do not walk barefoot at all”. A series of instructions
that are agreed upon that we must follow in order to belong in
society, yet we do not realise how we are being instructed not to
take pleasure, not to enjoy. For the pleasure of walking on the
grass, the sensation of the blades tickling the undersoles, should be
able to be enjoyed by ALL. Yet once we see a sign instructing
otherwise, we forbid ourselves from our natural instinct.
As
children, it is believed we need this instruction, this protection.
Our parents wrap us with cotton wool swaddling clothes. Natural
enough, yet we must learn that there is nothing to fear but fear.
Give
out fear to someone and that person will give it back, yet unless
that person who you were initially afraid of's aim was to make you
afraid, the person will respond with anger.
What
causes the fearful responses? Fear of loss, in some form or another.
Yet to lose is to gain.
A
person approaches you, and for someone to want to communicate with
you, Law dictates that they want something from you, physical or
otherwise.
Example
X :
Excuse me? / Pardon? / Hello? / Hi? / Por favor?
Y:
EEEK! / *sniffs* / [silence]
X = ?!?!
X = “A request?”
Y = “Don't take anything from me!”
X = Feelings of Astonishment and Anger
Here we see that even in this conversation, feelings are exchanged, albeit from the Y's erroneous fear.
Rational method of discourse:
X: Hello? / et al.
Y: Yes? Can I help?
X: Thank you, [request]
Y: Yes [grants request]/ No [declines request]
X: Thanks / Thanks
X + Y = NO FEAR
There are few verbal ways to create fear directly. Instead, to
create fear intentionally, we create surprise:
X: Boo! }
}
Y: Eek! }
} Fear, created and resolved, stored contently.
X: Lol! }
}
Y: Grr! }
Yet fear is also excitement.
Fear is fun. Ease your fears, spur on fun.
For it seems to fear nothing is to be excited by nothing, to react
with only dull grey blandness. This too causes unhappiness if treated
as a rule. So once we reach this point, we crave artifical fear:
Roller coasters, horror films, bungee jumps, etc.
Then if the artifice serves it's purpose our need is sated and
happiness increased.
Take a step back, see the bigger picture.
One of our most common fears is the fear of death, which is
identical to the fear of birth.
“It will hurt!” ; “What happens after?” ; “I'm afraid!”
Many of us ponder this fear, trying to answer these questions.
Ask your Mother while you are in the womb if there is anything to
fear in life, telepathically. What would she respond to her child
inside, from your perspective?
What do we tell the child, once it is born? Subconsciously keeping
it afraid?
“Don't talk to strangers!” ; “Don't touch that!” ; “This
is bad for you!”
All statements to which a rational adult, and therefore an
irrational(?) child would reply:
“WHY?”
Now, we see how from birth we falsely instill fear, or better,
instill the UNKNOWN, and it is this UNKNOWN variable which is the
cause of fear, yet as long as there remains an unknown variable, X,
the answer will be ?
X = ?
Naturally, we do not want our children afraid all of the time, in
fact when they cry from Fear (misunderstanding) we want them to be
quiet, happy and content again.
A child cries for attention, yes?
A child wants attention for assistance in some form of another,
correct?
As we age, we realise that to CRY is to CRY OUT:
“Help!”
“Excuse me!”
“Please!”
If a child is unanswered at first, it's screams will intensify. At
the age before words are taught, this will be an unintelligble noise
that will nevertheless create concern, distress et al., at it's
recognition.
These cries could perhaps be translated thusly:
“HELP ME!!!”
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!”
“SOMEBODY!!! ANYBODY!!!”
If the child / adult is ignored again, which thankfully rarely
happens, the person will typically be silent for a while, content in
it's discontentment.
Until the cause of the initial outcry is resolved for the person,
the urge to cry will always be present.
What, then, when the person X, realises that every Y it asks for
help knows HOW to resolve it's OUTCRY, but instead chooses not
to (or responds in the negative)?
The X learns resentment. This resentment will cont inue to grow
until the X meets a Y that can resolve the outcry.
(At this point I was struck with a sudden realisation of the solution
to the equation, baring in mind the character itself, not the
variable at this stage:
[ X = Y ] = ? ; [ X = Y – 1 ] = ?
X = Y with one diagonal line removed. Y = T . The 4 become 3. )
Simplified then, any X is a Y looking for something not to be given
but taken, keeping in mind the previous maxim.
For when we remove one part of the X, leaving the Y (why?) we have
identified a quarter of the X, from which the corresponding opposite
can also be identified as it's opposite, and can therefore replicate
correctly to solve the initial question.
I AM STILL AN X
I HAVE IDENTIFIED MY Y
Yet no-one will take the remainder of the Y, leaving me incomplete,
not whole, not one : 1
x ǂ
1
Although it is a different
viewpoint, the ɫ .still has a use, though it is an unhappy chartacter.
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